love based inquisition

i now know what my family was preparing me for…

the years of abuse … i mean tough love

the same message that was relayed to them by their ancestors

in this world you have to fight like hell to survive

in this world you have to fight

in this world you HAVE to survive (pleading)

a beautiful message of love wrapped up in generational pain and trauma

then slapped on the souls of generations to come

i remind myself that my family wants me to survive

therefore my family cares ?

dare i say … my family loves ?

i feel guilty for questioning a love that was always there ?

a love that… i guess i just couldn’t bear

what is love and why don’t i feel worthy of it ?

what is love and why don’t i know it ?

what is love

what is love

what is LOVE ???

the love i’ve been shown comes with condition

the kind of love that requires permission

the love that’s treated as some sort of acquisition

yk the kind that makes you need to see a clinician

the love that turns into some sort of silent competition

wait what is love again ? did we ever get a definition

bout to title this shit the love based inquisition

maybe one day “love” will come into fruition …

xoxo

a reminder of the unconditional love i am surrounded by...