Connecting the Dots

This is my story, I hope you will listen with an open mind and open heart.

My therapist has been telling me I need to be more vulnerable. You see she doesn’t understand that in my family vulnerability is weak. Vulnerability is letting your guard down. Asking mfs to catch you slipping. Don’t be surprised when they do and be prepared to clap back twice as hard to protect your name. Vasquez. A name that held respect. Not that white people shit, more like talk then get hit, a name that never truly fit.

Growing up I wasn’t rock hard.

I was baby Isha - daddy’s little girl

I never felt that way though.

I definitely wasn’t a girl and he barely was a father

But sure I’ll call you daddy because that's the only thing reminding you of when I was your daughter

The days when I looked up to you, thought you were so much smarter

Now it's getting harder to get things back in order

ever since you crossed that border

everyone preaching law and order

but what they don’t know is just how deep that shit go

for the ones who look like you and me,

when you’re black or brown feels like you're fighting to be free

But whats crazy is the ones who play referee doin the same shit as you and me

except we get penitentiaries and mandatory sentences

and they get businesses and independence

n still they wonder why we have so much resistance

its not just about the color of your skin man but I applaud your persistence

Think criminalization turned degradation

The fear evoked spread crossed the nation

Now they wanna talk reparations

Yet again their ignorance is blinding

How many times do i have to keep reminding

Legalization is just the start

All we ask is that they stop tearing families apart

But for me its too late the system broke my heart

Ripped that shit apart

Left me here with the pieces

Everyday sympathy for my dad increases

Who was in the wrong ?

My nightmares still aint gone

Engulfed in terror

them mother fuckers will terrorize whoever

Soldiers storming in, guns drawn masks on

Looking to the sky

asking god why

is it always me

Just wanna be free.

Look into my eyes

witness the demise

religions a disguise

The world is hateful,

need something to teach us to be grateful

but instead the result was more like a cult

Please i can explain,

so much shit running through my brain

Do i tell him what i know?

Walk my pops right out the door

Don't want to see him on his knees pleading

Aware enough to know

Just how far this shit could go

Tears come streaming down my eyes

Why does this man in front of me

Hold the power, hold the key

See him as a mere representation…

of the plague spread crossed the nation,

nowadays call it mass incarceration

Started in 1970 with Nixons War on Drugs,

then came Reagan who said “LOCK EM ALL UP”

This is where the seed was planted,

All the rights you take for granted

Stripped from you for good

just because you from the hood

Subject to a caste system

viewed as a second class citizen

heard the word “felon” and dismissed em

Taught how to overcome

All the damage that was done

By preaching to the people , try to tell them we aint equal

Take a look at the 14th amendment

Switched from slavery to handing down sentences

Ignorance deeply rooted in their resentment

Kept our people from commencements

N still these mfs have no shame

White ppl always find someone to blame

Pat themselves on the back

For giving us the opportunities they know we lack

Takin up space

but afraid to lead with grace

Too scared to embrace

The trauma we face

In the same place as you

But fighting for the validity in my voice that comes with the privilege your people have accrued.